Learning to talk to children in English in Korea was an interesting experience. Learning to talk to anyone in English in Korea was interesting. You'd think it would be easy, the conversation being in English and all, but it wasn't. There was the lack of vocabulary (it seemed like some students learned one word and vaguely used it for everything), accent (P.S. I hate Konglish! It comes into this story, but it's also bad enough for another post), and the cultural differences that always sneak into language. But I learned some tricks to make it easier to figure out what people were trying to say.
With children--which were the majority of my students--I usually tried to expect child specific conversations. Things like stationary, school, video games, comic books, and popular TV and movies were common conversation topics. If I expected topics such as those, usually I caught on. If they varied to something other than what I thought was normal conversation material for children, we would all become very confused and frustrated. But like I said, usually I was right on.
But not in this story. My first class of the day was a class of six very bright 9-year-old girls who all spoke English very well. Actually, some of them sounded quite American! They were very comfortable speaking English and really enjoyed talking to me about all kinds of 9-year-old girl things.
Knowing that, it shouldn't surprise you that it surprised--or more like shocked--me when one of the girls came up to me before class and with a flawless American accent asked me, "Teacher, do you like (insert correct name of male reproductive organ here)?"
See? This is where the subject gets a little sensitive...
I was shocked! I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped and I had to pick it up quickly before this student noticed she had said something inappropriate. When most students learned they had said something inappropriate, they wanted to know what it was and what it meant. Then they would tell all their friends and I'd never hear the end of it. Plus she was 9 years old! She didn't need to be using that word at all!
My mind started racing to figure out what she was talking about. Maybe I had just misheard her?
"Say that again?" I asked, trying to sound like nothing was odd, inappropriate or shocking.
"Teacher, do you like (same correct name for male reproductive organ)?" she replied adding emphasis to both "teacher" and the word I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she was saying.
Hmm. My next thought illogically was, well of course I do; I'm a woman. But I was smart enough not to say that out loud; although she probably wouldn't have figured out what I meant. So I decided to continue asking her to repeat herself, thinking that maybe I would figure out what she was saying if I heard it over and over. "What? I don't understand what you mean."
"You know, (same correct name for male reproductive organ), Aphrodite!" Then it hit me. She meant to say, Venus. Konglish, and cultural differences struck again.
"Oh, you mean Venus." I said, immediately relieved and putting quite a bit of stress on the V. "Venus, with a V." I even held up my index and middle finger in a V shape to add to the emphasis on the V. "Sure, I guess I like Venus."
"Okay!" She said and skipped back over to her classmates. Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice how awkward the conversation had been going.
Koreans have trouble with Vs, and quite a few other letters of the English alphabet. There just isn't a sound or combination of sounds in Korean that is anything like a V. So they make due by pronouncing Vs like Ps, which they do have in Korean.
Usually, this and other substitutions cause little or no confusion on my part because I'm expecting it. Unless the substituted sound makes a completely different word and almost makes sense in the sentence, as it did in this conversation. Most of the reason why I was so confused and couldn't figure out "Venus" rather than, well... you know... was because every word she said was pronounced perfectly. Her grammar was off, but the pronunciation was perfect.
Also, what kid comes up to you and asks if you like Venus. It just doesn't make sense. Like she's someone I know or something? I had no context to go by. What I found out recently is that's only odd for an American kid. In Korea, they use Venus to advertise for just about everything. She's everywhere. I guess for a Korean kid, she's something like Harry Potter. Not really a real person, but so ubiquitous and familiar that it's like you do know them as a real person. It's not weird to ask someone in America if they like Harry Potter, so I guess with as familiar as Venus is in Korea, it's not odd for a Korean to ask an American if they like Venus.
Unless, of course, they pronounce Venus with a P.
That is so funny! I am assuming since you are writing this that I won't get to share a birthday with your little angel. =(
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