"You're adopted?! I don't believe it! You're lying!" she exclaimed
"I really am, I promise!" I replied.
"NO WAY! You look too much like your Mom! You must be joking!" she continued.
"I'm not! I'm really not! I am adopted!" I answered, getting a little frustrated. Nobody ever believes me, I thought!
This conversation has been repeated in various ways probably a MILLION times over my lifetime. This particular conversation took place with my friend in her mom's car after school one day.
Almost every time I share that I am adopted, I almost always am asked, "how did you find out?" And honestly, I can't really answer because I don't remember being told I was adopted. I think they expect me to have a dramatic story of how I felt discarded and unwanted, or that I have this overwhelming desire to know who my "real" parents are. I don't have either of those issues.
My parents did an excellent job of explaining how they got me without making it seem unusual or strange. I think part of the reason they did so well with this is because they both have brothers who were adopted.
And I know who my "real" parents are. They are Bruce and Karen Nay. Many people don't understand, at least at first, that there isn't any difference between being raised by biological parents or adoptive parents. Unless of course, your parents stink and make it different! I don't feel like my experience with my parents has been or is any different from other people who were actually born to their parents.
In fact, in some ways, I think our relationship is closer. My parents had to go through a lot before they got me. They had to wait 8 years before my adoption went through. Half of that time was spent trying to conceive. They both went through a bunch of various, unplesant, medical procedures to help with that. I think that those trials it made getting me just that much more special!
So I am always confused when people make adoption such a large, controversial issue in life. Maybe I'm just a lucky one, and extremely blessed, but I've had no issues with it in my life. Maybe other children aren't as lucky as I am to have as wonderful parents as I have!
I agree with you. My dad adopted us girls a few years after he married my mom. My biological dad gave up custody of us so we could be adopted. It is a decision that I am so grateful for! My "stepdad" is my dad, we were sealed to him and I have no other father. By the way my mom often said that when you are sealed to a non-bioogical parent that you acquire genetic charactoristics from that parent. You have amazing parents!
ReplyDeleteThat's so awesome Rachel! I had no idea. James and I are actually looking into adopting since we haven't had much luck getting pregnant. It's good to hear a good story, I always get scared thinking my child won't love me as much or something like that because we adopted them. It's true that getting sealed to someone makes them yours for eternity and I guess that's all that really matters. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to put more about my adoption story next week.
ReplyDeleteI love how in my adoption story it shows that every child is meant for a family whether or not they are born to them or adopted!
Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLove it Rachel :) It is true.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love your parents, You belong together and miracles happen in our lives that make things exactly as they should be. :)
There are so many great adoption stories in the Apex Ward right now. The Bass's just adopted their 3rd (a boy) and Bethie and Ritchie Taylor just adopted twin Girls that are one. It is a miracle how it all worked out.
I Look forward to hearing more of your story!
Oops, I forgot, I love this scripture -
ReplyDelete"And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me." Matthew 18:5
I do must say that you have pretty amazing parents! They have made a big impact on my life. I miss the old days of the apex ward!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your perspective. I think one of the reasons people make a big deal is that we outsiders are so unfamiliar with the experience. It makes us ask a lot of questions. From your words, I think I'll tailor my questions a little differently.
ReplyDeleteThanks friends for all your wonderful comments! I think this is a record for the number of comments on one pf my posts!
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I read recently. Well, recently might not be the best word. I don't remember when I read it. But it was an article in the Ensign about adoption in the church. It brought a lot of scriptural references into it. I never thought of it that way, but we are ALL adopted into the house of Israel!
ReplyDeleteI would have never guessed. You carry the look of your parents very well. :) How neat. Adoption is such a great thing and a wonderful opportunity for so many. I would love to read about your adoption story in upcoming posts. Your parents are so great.
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